Saturday, March 06, 2010

for goodness' sakes, look at those cakes!

I don't know how anyone could workout without James Brown. He's my constant companion when I'm sweating and hurting on the elliptical or treadmill. When I think my shins and knees will quite simply stop functioning on me, leaving me screaming in agony and rolling around on the ground.


Shopping at Costco is a very different experience in Manhattan. First, one must be sure you're wearing very comfortable clothes and shoes, as this will take some time. Your handbag must be something small (just the necessities ladies) and have a shoulder strap that goes across your body, leaving your hands and arms completely free -- and your metro pass easily at hand.

Because Costco is on the upper east side, and you live on the upper west side, it will be a bit of a trick to get there -- because you sure as heck aren't going to pay a taxi. So, you'll walk a couple of blocks to the subway, where you'll take the 'A' from 190 to 125, the 'C' from 125 to 116, and the 'M116' (that's a bus, for you non-nycers) from west 116th to east 116th, and walk a couple more blocks to Costco. You'll repeat the process home, but with heavy bags.

Now, you can't shop like you used to at the Costco in Yonkers. You won't have your car to pull the cart up to and load full of crap you think you might need over the next six months. No, you'll have to seriously consider every little purchase, asking yourself if you can carry it home.

After shopping and checking out, you'll take your cart outside and unpackage some things so they'll fit in the three elizabeth haub reusable grocery bags you've brought along. When you pick up the three bags and begin the walk back to the bus stop, you realize you've underestimated the total weight of your purchases. Badly.

When you finally arrive back home (four hours after you left), you discover that the total weight of your bags (of course you weight them!) was 55.5 pounds. The next day, your neck, shoulders, and back are...well, you won't be doing the weight machines in your workout for a few days.

And you didn't get nearly everything you wanted to get, which means you'll have to go back again in a couple of weeks. Why not use a wheeled cart like you do for regular grocery store trips? Because it won't fit on a bus filled with people.


I'm still struck sometimes, in moments of reflection and introspection, with the fact that I'm 50. It seems so earth-shattering. And those little panic attacks I get, when I fixate on no longer existing at some point, are getting more frequent.


I miss my son, over there clear across the country. I haven't seen him for four or five years now. And I haven't yet seen my grandson, and probably won't till my son is able to get a home of their own. He's currently living with his in-laws, while he sells his house across the state. I keep having dreams about them, he's usually a child, and I have lost him somewhere and can't find him. I often still wonder why I moved so far away.


photo mine, the last cup of mexican chocolate I made before my cocomotion machine went belly up

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