Friday, August 29, 2008

you better be good to me


I have been quite literally walking my feet near to death. I walk three or four days a week, from work to at least penn station, but often all the way to times square. The shorter route is 3.5 miles. On top of that, my caloric intake is steady at no more than 1,500/day, and fast food is no more than once per week.

And I'm killing my body in the process. I keep getting huge blisters on the bottoms of my feet (like completely covering the ball of my foot), blisters on top of blisters, and the skin keeps rubbing off my heels and the tops of my toes (of course I have good walking shoes, don't be ridiculous).

The pounding my feet take is so bad that by the time I get home, I can barely waddle around the apartment because I'm in such pain. My knees are only slightly better. As in it hurts to bend them and to straighten them.

Also, while my workouts in the past ended with me getting a second wind and feeling energized, my exercise now leaves me so nauseous that I fear I won't keep my lunch down.

And yet, every morning when I get on that scale, those same three motherfucking numbers stare up at me. For three. weeks. and. counting.

I can't do anything about the menopause, because I can't take hormones anymore (because of the blood clot). I'm hoping that after I meet with the endocrinologist later in September that I can get back on synthroid...maybe that will help a little.

But I keep fighting, keep walking, keep eating better. I keep telling myself that the weight doesn't matter as much as eating better. That blood sugar, triglycerides, cholesterol, and blood pressure are more important than getting an actual waist back. Than fitting into the clothes I wore a mere six months ago. Than having a man actually look at me with desire.

I'm afraid my argument isn't convincing. At least, it's not convincing me.

Today's walking music courtesy of Tina herself:

Cooldown on the train by anonymous 4:

(this song is not from the cd, but it's the only one on youtube)

Did you catch the Balki-ism?

Just how did Tina get through menopause and come out looking like that, anyway?!


Anonymous said...

You might think I'm crazy, but try upping your calories for a week. Say 1800-2000. And not with junk food, but with more generally healthy stuff. After the week, go back to doing the 1500 a day thing. My mom was on a diet that really worked for her, crazy menopause stuff and all. She lost about 50lbs and has kept it off for nearly three years at this point. Her doctor told her that when she gets stuck, you might have to do a week or two at a higher calorie count because it somehow jump starts your metabolism. I've seen this work for a few people on diets - after the break they end up being able to lose weight again.

Anyway, good luck.


ladyk73 said...

I know how annoying it is to work out, eat right, and then poof! Nothing!

Today I have been lazy and eating nothing but junk. I woke up late too!

My body is SCREAMING at me to get moving. So here I go to clean my housde and play int he garden...