Sunday, April 06, 2008

she's come undone

I managed to get the student's paper read last night and guidance emailed.

Then I made the changes to the proposal that the chair wanted, and let her know that the second committee member seemed to be throwing us a curve ball. I did it in an 'I may just be so stressed I'm not reading this right but...' kind of way. I just want her as prepared to defend me as I need to be to defend myself.

I was so braindead that I slept till almost noon and was still groggy.

I have been working on the powerpoint presentation, but it is not going smoothly. I have to have a presentation that does not go over 20 minutes or I'll get dinged seriously. But it also has to convey the essence of the proposal.

I am literally so scared that I am paralyzed mentally. The tears are off and on, and have been since yesterday. I not only have to finish this presentation today, but I still have to teach two classes in the morning, before my defense. I'll have no last minute prep time tomorrow.

It's going very slowly, and I can't think anymore. I keep taking breaks and eating, which is giving me a seriously upset stomach. I have no chocolate in the house, which would probably keep me from eating.

I believe that I have finally discovered my mental and emotional stress limit. I honestly don't think I'm going to be able to do this.


1 comment:

Ony said...

I want to say something totally mellowing and supportive ... but I keep coming up short.

I wish I could send you some chocolate, but I'll definitely be sending good and calming thoughts your way.