Sunday, April 20, 2008

I saved the world today

This weekend has been very low-key and non-stressful. This is spring break, and although I have some papers to grade and some prep to do, I can probably do it in two long days.

Friday evening I had dinner with a friend and her...well, since this is my vanilla blog, I'll call him her S.O. It was great to see her and meet him. He seems like a cool guy, and I'm totally happy for her.

Saturday was a late lunch with another friend, and a walk along the aqueduct trail near my home. Then I started one of the books I just bought last week --started about midnight, read till 3 am, woke about 10, and finished the book today. I am of course kicking myself for not thinking ahead and buying the next two books in the series. I can't remember the last time I read a book for fun, but I'm going to find the other two books tomorrow and read them this week too.

I did nothing else this weekend except a couple of loads of laundry, a load or two of dirty dishes, a little clothing mending, ordered a pizza, watched a movie on pay-per-view.

I've really needed that de-stressing; things have been a bit challenging lately.

I've stopped blogging over there again. Big surprise. What was it this time? Well, I've always blogged everything, even the negative, even the whiny. And I've never tried to sugar coat the whiny. My blog has been the only place to put my feelings, and I do it so that I don't go fucking insane trying to keep it to myself as I've done my whole life. I've literally stuffed stuff down for 40+ years, till I thought I'd go bonkers, and I see my blog as an outlet that keeps me from overwhelming friends and family with all that stuff. I want the people I see in person to get the positive parts of me, so I get the bad stuff out here.

So when people read my whiny posts and come back with shit about how I need to buck up, and look at how bad it really is in the world and how much worse it is for others, and how dare I whine about anything...or compare my concerns to 9/11 as though somehow I suggested my issues were on a par with that event, well, I don't much feel comfortable blogging there.

I mean, I deal with national and world issues every freakin' day at work. I teach social work, for fuck's sake. What's going on in the world, positive and negative, is a part of every class in some way. So it isn't as though I'm ignorant about what's out there, or that I have any illusions about where my personal stuff fits in the grander scheme of things.

What really bothered me was that one of the people who said something and then stopped reading me was someone I liked and respected, who I thought respected me. But one lousy downer post, and there was that damned 'your problems are nothing, less than nothing, so get over yourself already' shit.

My personal stuff is just my personal stuff, nothing more, but certainly nothing less either. But it is me, it is real, and it does impact my life. I think I have a right to put it in my blog without people negating my life experiences as nothing. To negate the negative aspects of my life experiences as nothing is to tell me that a good part of my life is nothing...that I'm nothing. And I happen to think I'm something.

I saved the world today -- Eurythmics

I haven't listed to annie lennox for so long that I forgot what a great voice she has.


wifelet said...

I suppose I'm a bit confused by the whole get over it reaction. The fact is that you remain realistic yet hopeful, optimistic some days, pessimistic others. Don't we all?
I'd like to think you got that person on one of there not so good days. I guess I'm uncomfortable with the idea that anyone could be mean to such a lovely creature.

Ony said...

I'm so glad you liked Twilight. I'm trying to decide if it's worth getting excited about the movie version. :)

I don't understand people who think they have the right to judge someone else's sad. You've the right to express how you feel. And it is far better to not let it build up.

I know for me sometimes seeing things in writing is what it takes for me to see a plan or a path. So if you want to judge me based on a bad day ... that path didn't need to be walked together. Yeah, I hammered that metaphor badly.

Annie Lennox gives me shivers.

Sen said...

I think you saved the world more than you realize, and more days than you realize.

I'm sorry you left there, as I told you there, and so I followed you here! (I found you there through Mo.)

There are lots of jerks there... some rather cruel people who have more time on their hands than they have sense. Someone I adored there, and who has also left, gave me great advice - ignore them. And I do. But I hate that they chase away the good ones.

Spring said...

wifelet, I hope I don't come across as a downer 24/7, even here. I do try to pick myself back up and move on. :)

ony, I wasn't sure at first, it being in the young adult section at b & n. But it was surprisingly good. I didn't know there was a movie version, I'll have to find that. And I liked that metaphor. :)

Sen, I know you! Whoo hoo! Nice to see you here. I know I shouldn't let other people bother me, and I shouldn't be so sensitive, but I just don't want that additional stress. At least out here I feel positive about what I write. :)

I've just started what will probably be a several post series from my teen years. I'm hoping to explore a time in my life that I haven't really visited emotionally yet.