Sunday, September 02, 2007

the week from bloody hell...or, the bloody week from hell.

Imagine that you had four classes to teach, and each one met twice per week. Imagine that you had to cold prep for 8 class sessions during four days each week, for three sections of four courses that you have never taught. Imagine being a mere 10 to 15 minutes ahead of the students in terms of your prep for class that day. Imagine that the classes are taught in two different buildings three blocks away and you have back-to-back classes twice a week. Imagine that one of these courses is taught in an add-on unit literally right next to a major highway that is so noisy you can't hear your students speak or yourself think. Imagine that you took class prep work home for the weekend, because your Friday will be spent at your old job.

And imagine that this wasn't the end of that mess, but merely the beginning. And yes, this will be graphic. Imagine using a super absorbent tampon, and two super maxi pads, to stop the flow before class. And imagine that during a simple 1 hour, 15 minute class, you could feel that protection overflowing -- while you're trying to teach, and hoping it doesn't overflow to the point of no return in front of your students. And yes, it was close more than once. And imagine that when you ran to the bathroom right after class, removing that tampon signaled an opening of the flood gates from hell, and you felt your blood gushing nearly forcibly from your body. It was almost as though the tampon was a not-too-functional cork stopper. And imagine that the blood loss became so severe that you taught classes with a headache, dizziness, dehydration, and difficulty focusing -- a condition that lasted for most of those four days.

Imagine getting off the train at night and walking home, two of the blocks up steep hills. Imagine your feet, dead weight, barely swishing through the air above the pavement when you raise them ever so slightly to put one foot in front of the other as you drag yourself home at night.

Imagine coming in to your old job on Friday, after a week of massive blood loss and crazed class prep and 13.5 hour days. Imagine that what should have been done in your absence wasn't done, and you have to add that to your day. Imagine taking work home from this job for the weekend.

The blood gates of hell finally closed for good yesterday, after eight days. I have no doubt that it stopped only because I ran out of anticoagulant on Tuesday and couldn't get more until yesterday (a huge mixup, don't ask). I now live in fear of next month. Or more accurately, 28 days later (pun not intended -- or not much anyway). I don't know if I can go through that again. There were a couple of points at which I really thought I should have gone to an emergency room, but I couldn't. Not with a new job. I am not in a position as a newby prof to just cancel classes in the first week so that I can go to the hospital. I haven't even told them I'm on the meds.

The good thing about running out of the med was discovering that the clot was still there. You see, the vein in the lower inside part of my arm began to swell as soon as the meds were stopped. So we know it's still there, and that it hasn't moved at all. At least we know that it hasn't migrated to some much more dangerous spot in my body. I'm on the meds for two more months, and if it's still there, I will be referred to a blood specialist.

Yesterday was grocery shopping and running errands. Today is cleaning the house, doing laundry, and trying to get those two classes prepped for Tuesday. And do the work for the other job. Tomorrow, rugrat, her bf and I are going to the beach. But if I have my way, it will only be for a couple of hours, not the whole freakin' day. Thank goodness this is a three day weekend, or I'd be totally exhausted and not have any time to rest.

Despite the fact that I leave the house at 7 am and don't get home till 8:30 pm, I have to go pick up rugrat at work at 10 pm every night this upcoming week. The bus doesn't run that late, and she can't take the car till she passes her driving test on the 14th. I will be so glad when that happens, even if I will worry about her.

And yes, I know I said I wouldn't blog anymore, and that if I needed to blog, I'd find another spot to do it. But I don't have the damned time to set up another place. I don't even have the time to blog regularly. I'll be lucky to write briefly on the weekend. I keep saying I'm so overwhelmed and I don't know if I can continue to handle it all, but I don't see an end in sight.

The best part of the whole week? I fucking love the students. They are particularly awesome. The vast majority anyway. They were the only thing keeping me going this week. Whoo hoo for students.


tman said...

Whether it's briefly or infrequently, it good to read you again.

Anonymous said...

Oh gosh girl... I have no idea what to say here. But know I'm hoping that all goes well with the uhm... cycle next month!

Glad to hear there was good news along with the bad!

galros said...

I'm so glad you're still writing - adn that blood loss sounds eerily familiar - cept I ain't on the meds!!! lol

Hope the new job works out as well as it seems to be - my ma and da always said if it wasn't for the students the job wouldn't be worth having!!

Great to hear you again!


jenny14 said...


What a week, as you said! Even a male came imagine the anguish!

But, delighted the new job going well


WistfulWench said...

I truly hope you have had a better week since you posted this....

Thinking of you sweetie! Sending you a big hug and kiss!