Saturday, August 11, 2007

my body on anti-coagulants, part deux -- or, klutz meets coumadin

I'm pretty much back to feeling normal now, whatever that is. It does mean no more pain or percoset. Percoset is my friend, but I have to be careful not to let my friend get too close, if you know what I mean.

The only prevailing semi-problem now is just getting my physical and mental stamina back to what it used to be. Today, a 20 minute walk to/from the local library just wore me out. BC (before coumadin), I could spend an hour on the elliptical and run 4.5 - 5 miles. But I'll get there.

Now the funny thing is to see how the person who almost never bruises, despite being a major klutz, is now full of bruises. Unfortunately, not the pretty purple and blue ones. They are dark brown ones that look, as rugrat said of the one in the photo below, "like an alien taking over your flesh, mom."

Most are just small little round ones gained by bumping into the ends of furniture, but guess how I got this big one:



Umm, that would be the time I was absent-mindedly pulling my hair back into a ponytail while walking toward the bathroom, and rammed elbow first into the door frame. And as is that wasn't bad enough, after this photo was taken, I did the same fucking thing. To the same fucking elbow. Can I just say that it hurt a lot more the second time around. I don't think this bruise will be going away soon.

So what's so funny about this? Well, guess which arm this is. Go on, guess.

Yup, it's the arm with the clot! So, the arm that is blocking the blood from flowing well is also the arm that is bleeding beneath my skin. How fucking funny is that?!

I can't do much about the major klutzes, but I hied myself over to babies r us yesterday to buy these to take care of the minor little ones covering my body:




Those are child safety devices, my friends. They go on the corners of furniture, so that baby won't crack her head (or some other body part) open and bleed to death.

I really am laughing my fucking head off. You should see me.

2 comments:

fellahere said...

you have a good vanilla excuse for bruises, now.

Spring said...

Lol. I was going to do a kinky post on the other blog about this, but I haven't gotten around to it yet.