Saturday, April 14, 2007

nothing

I've been sitting here this evening thinking about the one thing that I try to avoid thinking about at all costs. My mind touches on it occasionally, more often as I grow older, but I do my best to move away from it immediately, before the thought moves deeper.

But this time, tonight, right this moment, I can't seem to move my mind past it, over it, around it, through it.

Death.

Perhaps it's that I'm more agnostic, bordering on atheistic, that makes death so difficult to contemplate. To me, it's the end. The end of existence of any kind, way, shape, form.

To cease to be.

I sit here in front of the telly, and my mind keeps freezing on the thought of simply ceasing to exist.

My heart beats fast.

My body goes weak.

My head swirls.

And everything inside me seems to drop to my feet.

And out of me.

And utter terror fills me.

2 comments:

Infinitesimal said...

i think there is a mind, a body and a spirit

your mind and body are connected

are you saying you have no spirit?

E=MC squared
energy never dies
ergo, the spirit lives on

it is propelled, it maintains free will.

I know a lot of thinking people who are athiests.

But I also know alot of different kinds of enlightened people who believe in the spirit of a human being.

So, if a human being has a spirit, that spirit inhabits the body, residing in the heart maybe.

Have you ever heard of the fact that a dead body weighs exactly 7 grams less upon the moment of death?

the theory is that the human spirit actually weighs the 7 grams, and it departs once the vessel dies.

Well, i think about this stuff too.

I did a lot of digging around investigating a bunch of different ideas, paths and stuff.

I found that there is truth to the real connection (not the bogus catholic, fakie bougie riche) Jesus.
It brings me comfort, so I roll with it.

But I just wanted to share some thoughts with you on the spirit and the 7 grams idea.

Anonymous said...

Mdf, I would add to what infinitesimal said that the 7 grams may seak and find another vessel or roam until content.

I like this side of you, just not as comfortable blogging here, new area... my daughters are here, somewhere?

Sorry we missed connecting, I was in mood for talk: decompression from much activity of meetings.

She is lovely, animated, generous and genuine.

Hugs, yS