The kind where you just don't want to face life at all. The kind where you just want to give up, throw in the towel, and go slide into bed, knowing that someone else has taken care of everything.
Don't bother reading any further. It's boring bullshit, just bullshit that I have to deal with. I'm not asking for advice or anything, I know what I need to do. It's just that I'm at work and I have no one to vent my frustrations to, so it's going in the blog. I thought maybe writing it down would ease my anxiety a bit. That's all.
I still have to come up with a way of addressing the comments and feedback of the MFD committee. I mean, the second committee person literally asked why I hadn't used a particular outline for the lit review. I actually had used that outline, and she is the one who told me to put it aside and think about a new outline.
And she asked why I had this section of history of the policy in my lit review, when it should be for outcomes. But the last draft (all the drafts) had a section of history. And she's the one who told me that I had to expand on that history because I'd glossed over some key points, and I hadn't presented both sides of the issue. That section is one that I spent a great deal of time working on in the rewrite.
And the bad news is she copied the chair on her email to me, and the chair agreed with her because she doesn't know what the second and I discussed previously. So now, do I send my response to the second's comments and copy the chair, or will that embarrass the second? Should I just send it to the second? But then the chair will still be out of the loop.
And did I mention this little twist? Both committee persons were references in my recent job search -- for the job I got. So I have to try to keep that aspect separate from the MFD thing. And I have to assume that they will do the same.
And now the issue with rugrat and her teacher is back. The teacher was given my letter of concern and sent her own rebuttal to the same counselor. That's to be expected. But the letter only addresses a couple of specific points in my concerns, specifically those that pertain to the fashion industry (this is a fashion design course).
The teacher didn't address my concern about why she has never contacted me about rugrat. She doesn't address the issue of chaos in the classroom. She has decided that rugrat just isn't interested 'career-wise' in fashion design and needs to be more motivated -- the kid who has wanted nothing more than FIT since grade school? Needs to be more motivate? That's her reasoning for not giving full help and support to rugrat?
My letter allowed for the fact that I know rugrat can be challenging and that I knew it wasn't all the teacher. In her letter, she does not take responsibility for one iota of the problem -- she places it all squarely on rugrat.
But the thing is, rugrat isn't having problems with any other teacher, and she never really has had any problems with teachers. So it isn't all rugrat.
And the most ironic thing is her response letter. She says that I clearly didn't want to speak with her directly and deal with this, because I addressed my letter to the counselor. (I did that because he's the only one from that school who has spoken with me.) But when she started having 'problems' with rugrat, she went to the same counselor -- not to me. So if I use her reasoning, then clearly she had no intention of contacting me directly. Hell, if the counselor hadn't given her a copy of my letter, I never would have heard from her.
And the worst part is that the only bad behavior issues that she can come up with is rugrat eating in class and using her mp3 player -- both issues that I could have nipped in the bud in the first few weeks, if she'd only called me. Now what we have is major avoidance issues on both sides, and passive aggressive behavior on both sides.
The counselor has strongly recommended that the teacher call me, and she finally did yesterday. I was in a meeting, but she left times that she was available. Then she emailed me with those times, and sent a copy of the letter she'd sent to the counselor in response to my letter (which the counselor hadn't bothered sending my way). I just called her back, during the time she said she'd be available, and no answer. Now I get to wait around for her call again.
I'm tempted to just send her a letter in response to her response. But then I'd just be avoiding the same way she is.
Did I mention that I hate confrontations? With a passion? I'd do just about anything to avoid direct confrontation when I know it's a serious issue.
I really do just want to go back to bed.