Something freaky and scary happened on the way to work this morning.
I lost 8 minutes of my conscious life.
Not in an 'oh, where did the time go' kind of way. Not even remotely.
Not in an 'I was on autopilot' kind of way.
Not in an 'I fell asleep at the wheel' kind of way.
It was an 'I was awake and functioning normally but was apparently not conscious of what I was doing' kind of way.
The last thing I remembered was being stopped at a traffic light. The next thing I knew, I was 'coming to' a couple of miles, and 8 minutes, later. And I wasn't where I was supposed to me.
The thing is, between point A and point B, I have no memory whatsoever. I was not overly tired, and I didn't fall asleep at the wheel. There'd be no way to drive the busy, pedestrian filled, full of traffic lights route asleep without causing some major damage.
And it wasn't like I was just daydreaming and not paying attention, because I can always remember bits and pieces of the drive when I'm daydreaming.
This was like not being there, and then poof! Being there. And not having any knowledge or recollection of anything that happened in between. Nothing. Nada. It's like the time never happened. Except it did, because I was at Point B. And I 'woke up' wondering where I was and how I'd gotten there -- completely disoriented, confused, and scared as hell.
And yes, I know it sounds like dissociation. Remember, my master's degree is clinical. I understand dissociation. But that typically happens when a traumatic event occurs, or when a memory of a truamatic event is triggered. Nothing like that was present this morning. So I'm not willing to accept that as a possibility.
But if it wasn't that, then what was it. I was conscious, then I wasn't, then I was again. But my body functioned during the time I wasn't conscious. Somehow.
I'm very scared.