Monday, October 16, 2006

just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water

Something freaky and scary happened on the way to work this morning.

I lost 8 minutes of my conscious life.

Not in an 'oh, where did the time go' kind of way. Not even remotely.

Not in an 'I was on autopilot' kind of way.

Not in an 'I fell asleep at the wheel' kind of way.

It was an 'I was awake and functioning normally but was apparently not conscious of what I was doing' kind of way.

The last thing I remembered was being stopped at a traffic light. The next thing I knew, I was 'coming to' a couple of miles, and 8 minutes, later. And I wasn't where I was supposed to me.

The thing is, between point A and point B, I have no memory whatsoever. I was not overly tired, and I didn't fall asleep at the wheel. There'd be no way to drive the busy, pedestrian filled, full of traffic lights route asleep without causing some major damage.

And it wasn't like I was just daydreaming and not paying attention, because I can always remember bits and pieces of the drive when I'm daydreaming.

This was like not being there, and then poof! Being there. And not having any knowledge or recollection of anything that happened in between. Nothing. Nada. It's like the time never happened. Except it did, because I was at Point B. And I 'woke up' wondering where I was and how I'd gotten there -- completely disoriented, confused, and scared as hell.

And yes, I know it sounds like dissociation. Remember, my master's degree is clinical. I understand dissociation. But that typically happens when a traumatic event occurs, or when a memory of a truamatic event is triggered. Nothing like that was present this morning. So I'm not willing to accept that as a possibility.

But if it wasn't that, then what was it. I was conscious, then I wasn't, then I was again. But my body functioned during the time I wasn't conscious. Somehow.

I'm very scared.

11 comments:

A Good Knights Journey said...

havent you ever seen "Invasion of the body snatchers" or the like? lol seriously though, I've had episodes like that on occasion, where you get to point B and wonder how the hell you just got there. sometimes you do just go on auto pilot for something, while something else entirely occupies your consciousness completly. been there done that. last time I check I was till "ahem" Normal. Dont let it bugg ya too much unless it becomes prevalent. then start looking for that worm-hole and claim your Nobel in astro-physics!
Huggs!

Spring said...

Knight, I've been on autopilot more times than I can count. Sometimes my entire day is episodes of autopilot. This was completely different, in a frightening kind of way.

Curious_2b_sub said...

Spring, that is so scary.

Take care of yourself.

~curious

onehotchic said...

I've heard of this before, the reason is really quite simple...

ALIEN ABDUCTION

Admit it, you're now going to check yourself for marks on your body of unknown origin.

;)

Seriously, be careful. I don't know what would cause something that almost sounds like a blackout.

Ladyk73 said...

Maybe you had some kind of seizure?

Please have yourself checked out by a doctor.....

infinitesimal said...

First thing that comes to mind is disassociation, you are right, but then, if no trauma, maybe split personality, and it just never happened before? doesn't sound right... then of course, alien abduction.... hahaha

ok, so what about possible short term memory damage? Which would possibly allude to brain anomily? Abuse, head trauma? these things sometimes take awhile to show any signs. Have you been hit in the head or choked? I think ladyk73 is right, time for a visit to the doctor.

because it sounds like well, something happened, which is all you know now, but better safe than sorry. If insurance covers it, go to the doc.

best wishes from the midwest

Spring said...

Well...I don't see how it could be a blackout or a seizure or a mini stroke or anything like that, cause my body still functioned normally. It was a conjested area, pedestrians, traffic lights, cars. I'd have hit a car or a person or run off the rode if I'd blacked out or something like that.

This morning, when I was on the way to work and I got to the same traffic light I was at last time when I went 'out,' I was really nervous. But when nothing happened, I felt better.

Spring said...

road, dammit, not rode! @(*#^*%^$

infinitesimal said...

Yeah, See, (and this is just conjecture)

I was thinking that you did funtion normally, and drove and did not run the light or hit any pedestrians...

BUT that even though everything was normal and fine, you still lost the time due to your brain not processing the rote memories.

And so what I am saying is that short term memories failed to work but it should have ended up in your long term memory. So in brain theory, you should remember the incident in like, 2 months or something. However, it was so mundane, you probably won't realize the memory is there.

Like, the short term did not process or retain the few minutes, but it should end up as a long term memory.

Alchoholics (not that you are one) have this issue due to brain damage from the drinking, the ST memory gets shot and they start to fill in the blanks with stories of their own creation....called conflabulation.

(I started to cry in class when I learned this gem, as I finally understood all those arguements with my Dad where he INSISTED that something had happened in a totally different way from the reality)

"We had a lovely day at the park" as opposed to: I screamed at you for 2 hours with whiskey breath... which would be the reality.

So alls I am saying is that the ST memory fails in times of severe trauma (disassociation) or during brain damage (lack of oxygen).

So that's why i asked you if you had been choked or a severe blow to the head....

Anyway, it sounds like something that you should totally go to a doctor for. but not some asshole doctor who will just think you are attention seeking (good luck finding a decent doctor!) I like nurse practicioners myself, the do not have the asshole factor.

infinitesimal said...

sorry, some of the keys on my keayboard stick and do not get typed....

tulsa said...

Please let me know if you figure out what this is... It's happened to me relatively a lot. I just lose bits of time completely.

My family has told me about things that have happened, totally mundane things, going to the store, riding in the car, and it will have apparently been the day before and I have no memory of it whatsoever. I know I blocked out fights and things from when I was younger, but the other things seem to have no reason to them, and I'm not sure what to make of it.