Monday, April 03, 2006

the love affair

I'm in love. Sweet love. With a city. And I have been for 8 years now. And having starlet visit, and getting to show her around, reminded me of just how much I have been taking my love for granted. In fact, it's usually when a friend comes to visit and I get to play tour guide that I'm reminded of just how much I love the city.

I could spend every day in the city, but unfortunately, life intervenes. In fact, I don't actually live in the city, I live about 20 minutes outside of the city limits. But I plan to move, just as soon as rugrat goes off to college. Two more years, and I'm practically counting down the days. I think about it a lot, and was just dreaming again on the way home from work today.

I may have to find a roomie, but I'd be willing to live with someone if I had to. Or I'd even be willing to do the SRO (single room only) thing if need be. I can pare down possessions, put things in storage. And I'll do it, when the time comes. It'll be pricey, but I'll be losing the car and its expenses. And I'd even lose the cable tv if I have to -- hell, I need to get back to music and books anyway, and away from reliance on the boob tube for company. I'll cut corners elsewhere too, as needed, and work two jobs. Yes, that's how much I'll want it, when the time comes. How much I want it now. In the meantime, I can dream, like I did tonight on the commute home.

So, just what is it I love about the city anyway? Just every possible thing, from museums to parks to broadway to street performers to historic buildings to street fairs to tourist attractions to central park name it, I love it all. I love the idea that I can step outside my front door, and be minutes away from anything I want to do, no matter what time of the day or night it may be. Where else, for example, could you get a glimpse of something like this: the seton shrine, an historical building, wedged between two high risers. I took this from the staten island ferry.

But I think what makes it most appealing is something deeper than that.

It's the people, actually. There are so many people that it's possible to let yourself be alone without being lonely. I can be alone, but still have the comfort of a crowd of people. It's that maintaining touch with humanity that attracts me so. When you live in a quiet, lazy village, you can go days without seeing a person. Not so in my city. You can't go ten minutes without knowing that there are people, wonderful people, all around you. Funny, of course, considering that in the midst of all those people, I don't possess the verbal abilities to connect on an intimate level. Stop it, this isn't a dump on Spring post, it's a love post.

Anyway, I love the idea of being alone in a crowd. And so, never really being lonely. I love knowing there are crowds of people wherever I go. Touching humanity. Tasting, smelling, feeling, hearing. Occasionally making eye contact. A word spoken. A smile. A touch of humanity, to know I'm still alive inside.

I'm in love. Sweet love. With a city.


Deepblue said...

I love crowds.... Especially when I am feeling lonely... :)

mixtrixc said...

I hope you don't mind your city being polyamorous. I could just walk around on the streets, doing nothing but converting oxygen to carbon dioxide in the city and be happy as a clam.

Come Early December, wanna fall in love all over again? After my last trip, I decided I wanted to make it a yearly thing to spend my birthday there. You can play tour guide...

Spring said...

blue, isn't it funny, I'm really a loner at heart, but in a crowd, I'm not expected to make conversation. So I can just feel the people, with no reciprocal expectations whatsoever!

mixtrixc, poly away! And heck yeah, I'll be here in December. And I'd love to play tour guid again. :)