How do you measure a year in the life?
With exploration, brief encounters, failed relationships, new friends, old friends, a dissertation proposal, weight loss, weight gain, epiphanies, insights, failures, successes.
I ordered Rent on pay per view. With Jesse L. Martin and Taye Diggs, candy for the eyes and they can belt out a song, too. Who knew? I haven't been able to afford the broadway version yet, but it's at the top of my list.
Broadway is something that awakens the savage beast. Just being there, let alone actually experiencing the show. It always brings a tear to my eye, it's so incredibly larger than life. Beyond beautiful.
Wonderful, quotables from this play/movie:
How do you document real life, when real life's getting more like fiction each day?
One song to redeem this empty life...
There's only us, there's only this, forget regret, all life is yours to miss. No other road, no other way, no day but today.
I find some of what you teach suspect, because I'm used to relying on intellect, but I try to open up to what I don't know.
Take me for what I am.
The mind churns, the heart yearns, the tears dry, without you. Life goes on, but I'm gone.
Things to make you think, you know?
I'm feeling the loss of leaving the other place, just like I did before. And people are still judging me, now adding in the judgment of leaving instead of 'sticking it out,' or 'standing up for myself.' But the problem is, I lived with the constant verbal attacks all my life -- well, growing up anyway. I've blogged some about the physical. But not the verbal.
Unwarranted, undeserved, verbal attacks. Not good enough, name calling, belittling, derision. Nothing I said or did ever passed muster. You'd think I would've developed a very thick skin as a result. But no, it just cut more deeply each time, made me more vulnerable with each word. As soon as I could get away, I did.
And as an adult, I've made the decision to walk away from any situation in which verbal abuse is an issue, no matter what. I just can't take it like others can. And that weakness brings on ever more abuse: get a life, it's just the internet, grow thicker skin, wimpy, baby. But it is who I am.
I won't be growing a thicker skin, or dealing with it, or fighting back. I'll just keep walking away. It's the only way I've managed to stay sane as an adult, and it's the action/reaction I'll continue with. And I'll walk away from those who judge me for walking away, too.