Wednesday, January 25, 2006


I've felt it the past few months. It feels different. What is 'it'? Everything.

For an entire year, there was flow:

"Flow is a mental state of operation in which the person is fully immersed in what he or she is doing, characterized by a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and success in the process of the activity." (wikipedia)

That was it. I had flow. Immersed in my exploration of the lifestyle. I was completely focused. Action and awareness merged. Time stood still, while I reveled in my explorations, my epiphanies.

But time didn't really stand still, did it? Life continued. And over the last couple of months, life has disrupted that flow. Finances, illness, verbal assaults...the river's current has been dammed.

Even my blogging no longer flows. It is different. Indescribable, but I feel it. There is an emptiness inside, that must be filled. But how? I am stalled, lost, rudderless, without flow.


Curious_2b_sub said...

Funny that you think your blogging is not flowing... just today while reading your first post I was thinking about how much your style has changed since you moved to this site.

I actually think you are being more open and revealing more about yourself. I think it's great, refreshing even...

Maybe your flow has just redirected?

Spring said...

curious, I think I'm just feeling a bit unsettled about all the changes lately. Not just the blog, but the whole easing up on immersing myself in bdsm like I did on the other site. I think you may be right, the flow was redirected. I just need to get used to the new direction.

Curious_2b_sub said...

P.S. Love your new links... would you mind adding Bod for me... that way I can just use your blog links as my daily alt connection ;)

Spring said...

Ha ha! OK, but just for you, curious! :D