Wednesday, November 09, 2005

whoa baby what a ride

I knew this morning would be rough at our house, cause of the nearly all-nighter homework fiasco. But I didn't know just how hard it would be.

The rugrat doesn't function well with no sleep. So I had a hard time even getting her out of bed. She balked, but eventually got up.

Then she started whining about being so sick, and feeling like she was going throw up. But I still didn't give in. I repeatedly reminded her that she created the situation and now has to deal with it.

Things escalated rapidly, in her attempt to get out of going to school so she could go back to bed and sleep. I told her that if she stayed home, it would be unexcused, and there would be consequences for skipping. Like not seeing her boyfriend for a long time.

In the end, she was sobbing uncontrollably, tears streaming down her face, nearly incoherent as she kept saying she felt like she was going to be sick. I'm not sure I've ever been through such a heavy scene with her.

But I didn't give in. And then she got angry. Said she would walk to school, that she didn't need a ride, I should just leave. And, oh yeah, she hates me. Really, really, really hates me.

Ok, so the comment about walking to school was a give away that she wasn't as sick as she'd said. If she really felt like throwing up, she would've taken the ride, no matter how mad she was.
And the command for me to go ahead and leave was a give away. It meant she intended to wait for me to leave, then go back to bed. So I told her I'd be calling school to be sure she was there for all her classes. Now that really pissed her off.

So, I pretended to leave and waited in the car outside around the corner, to be sure she really left for school. I watched her, following slowly, till she was about halfway there. Yes, she saw me, but she refused to acknowledge me. That's fine. At least I'm fairly certain she made it to school.

So, I may come home today and find she's packed her things and run away.

Or she found a gun and I won't make it through the night.

I have absolutely no idea what I'll find tonight.

I just know I am completely emotionally drained. And I don't know how much longer I can do this.

I'm in the mood for: inner peace.

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